Reflections.

Many times I sit at work and I think about my son. His sweet face along with his silly moments runs through my head frequently. Sometimes it is more of a curse. He is so full of attitude and life that he leaves a impression in my heart on a daily basis.

Many times those happy thoughts take me back to the day he was born….

On Aug 21 2009… I was so nervous and scared as the dr’s prepped me for my 3^rd c-section. I shouldn’t have been as nervous, but I was. I was more than nervous, I was terrified that in a few hrs the dr’s would tell me the one thing I never wanted to hear…. That my son indeed did have Down syndrome (after suspicions of Ds). I prayed, God, only you know and if this is what you want for me and my family, to have a child that is different then so be it, but I am scared and give me strength just in case he does have Ds. As the nurses held me and prompted me on how to sit for the epidural, I shivered out of control… They asked me if I was scared of the procedure and they assured me that everything would be ok… but they didn’t know my fears. Soon the dr pulled my baby boy out, and I anxiously searched his body from afar as I laid helplessly on the OR table and watched as they cleaned him off. I tried to search the doctors faces for concerns, I asked my husband, “is he ok?” but I couldn’t see his response with the surgical mask over his mouth. In the recovery room he assured me that our son was beautiful and ok.  

Yet a few hrs later it was confirmed by the hospital pediatrician that my son showed signs of Ds. Daddy was in denial, but I knew it was true. But one thing I never knew that day was how much I would end up loving him and how grateful I am to God for the son he gifted me with. My only regret now is being so fearful then. The pain and fear of that day has yet to leave my body. I revisit those days frequently wishing I could redo those few hrs before he arrived. I was terrified of having a son that would be different… a was terrified of having a boy like Ethan, even though I never knew how amazing this kid really would be. I guess it has left a shameful feeling in me that I cannot rid myself of.  

Fast forward to today, I could never imagine Ethan being anything else but Ethan. 

 

 

Last weekend ramblings – Broken zippers, boobylicious & sauasage dresses

Wake me up… after  I have slept for 24hrs straight please! –Nevermind, I’ll wake myself up when I am ready!

Life has been GO GO GO for the last month! And I am not quite ready for a slow down, truth is I thrive off of hecticness, but I would like a nap somewhere in between. A nap some call “bed time”… whatever that is, after 3 kids I thought those words only applied to children (and the husband).

For the most part I can’t even remember what I have been up to. ( I have also discovered Pinterest….that should answer some questions if you haven’t heard from me.)

What I DO remember is attending DSAH Gala’s and Auction last Saturday. And that was pretty fun. I for a change was able to get super glamorous and I went out and bought me some super high (stripper/hooker) shoes. They were FABULOUS! And I also bought a FABULOUS long gown to go with them (actually I bought the shoes to go with the dress since the dress was super long). The dress was PERFECT. Just what I had been looking for. It had the whole goddess look thing going. The bust area crisscrossed , exposing nothing, with a little band under the bust , that went all the way around the back, but there was no back so it exposed the my back –this was actually the dress:

So when I tried it on at the store, getting the zipper up was a little hard…the dress fit, but once the zipper reached the band, it made it a little tricky. But I got it up. When I got home I modeled the dress for the hubby, once again the zipper gave me some trouble  and got stuck for a while but I managed to unzip it.

Come Saturday evening, the night of the gala, my makeup was done and the hair done, I just had to jump into the dress. I got the dress on, started to zip it , once again, the zipper got stuck at the same spot… fine, I’ll get the husband I thought. I managed to get it unstuck… and then here comes Mr. I am the Hulk and with all the force in his body pulls on the zipper…..and….in…. a ….blink….of….an….EYE.. the zipper was in his hands, detached from the dress. Yes folks, the zipper broke off. 

And I stood, like a wild animal under a trance without movement or words, I stared at the zipper …. 

BUT like the trooper that I am (sometimes), after a few minutes I pushed aside all feelings of terribleness and marched right back into my  bedroom and pulled out another dress. The dress I was supposed to initially wear but I just wasn’t feeling it enough to make it my first choice. But there was no time to cry, complain or whine and quickly changed.

It was just was a simple black dress, nothing to fabulous about it, except that it made me completely boobylicious. Which for another occasion might have been ok, not amongst other parents of children with Ds or other community members who were so gracious to attend the gala. At least they got their money’s worth and got a boob show. (once again, it wasn’t what I was going for…but when life gives you lemons, you just jump right up and make lemonade, then you mark up your margin and make a heck of a profit –JUST SAYING.)

And that was the adventure of last weekend…oh, I cannot forget the sausage dresses! (Thanks Fe!)

Overall it was a great night! 

The Gala was absolutely moving. Definitely something I want to invite more people to next year, people who are not as involved in the Ds community or as aware of Ds and life with Ds, such as coworkers, bosses, teachers, etc.  If I ever had a negative thought about Ds, going to an event like this really put things into perspective. There was an absolutely beautiful prayer said by a priest, it has been the best prayer I have EVER heard in regards to Ds and the community and others. I also pray that God allow others to see the beauty that our children with Ds posses. An absolutely moving night and I definitely want to push this event more next year to others.

Well life is calling! (actually, somebody is having a tea party tomorrow for their 7^th birthday….-no not me, I wish it was MY tea party…shhhh… and of course, I will let you all know all the details with tons of pictures…)

Until next time!

Erika

Bonus pic… i was reminded today of how old I am getting… pulled this baby right out the front of my head… it’s an early 30^th birthday gift!

The Children’s Place Model Search – VOTE FOR ETHAN!

I kid you not… I have the CUTEST kid ever…

I’ve entered Ethan’s picture in the Children’s Place Model search.

I’ve honestly entered Ethan because I do believe he is a very good looking kid… not because of his Down syndrome, but how cool to see more children in ads with Ds. So he having Ds is just a perk! 

Click on this link! ----> PLACEkids Model Search

VOTE VOTE VOTE!!! Help my little man be a Children’s Place model!

**His whole outfit in the picture is from TCP… see how cute he is in it!

(Also voting automatically allows you play their INSTANT WIN GAME for a chance to win a $50 gift card from The Children's Place! –Just by voting!)
 

The link should take you directly to the page, if not you can look him up by his
Entry ID 519714

Or my email: emarquez_1@hotmail.com

Spread the word, and share!!!

MANY THANKS!

Erika

and I love it

I spent the whole day today Sunday being "Martha Stewart" as the husband said... and I am beat from cutting and pasting and all that crafty stuff... (in case you didnt know, the little one -Andrea, turns seven soon and we are busy planning a Tea Party birthday and I am thrilled!!!! These are the type of things a mother envisions when she has a little girl, yet my girls have always been anti-anything-mom-might-like, so finally no one is fighting me and I get what I want... I mean the GIRLS get what they want).

But before I go and scrub glue off my hands and take my overworked fingers to bed, I wanted to make sure I get some pictures up. Summer activities are winding down and I must admit I will miss summer time. I love being outdoors. Thankfully Houston weather tends to be a little hot/warmer than other parts of the country that we will be able to enjoy a few more activities for a few more weeks.

We had a Ds outing on Friday night at a putt putt place, and some fishing on Saturday evening. There was  a huge beautiful full moon and I've never fished in the dark with a full moon over me, it was such a serene feeling. Perfect weekend.

My beautiful girls.

 

this is my life. 

and I love it.

Mommy’s little helper

sometimes

Ethan learns a lot from watching, clearly he is visual learner. So all of these grocery trips and unloading of bags have permanently  (hopefully) been engraved in his precious little mind and he is always willing to help out.

Ethan did not join me for this grocery adventure and instead he patiently waited for me at home but as soon as I arrived he dashed out of the front door and was more than eager to help his mommy (now if the girls would only be as eager!) I gave him a bag with a ½ gallon of milk and watched as he so happily dragged the bag inside with a big O’ smile on his dear little face. Well actually he got a little side tracked and started walking off into another direction, yup that is the attention span of a 2yr old.

AHHH...Ethan is 31lbs of pure awesomeness!

(The video is real bouncy, one hand was pretty occupied with bags full of juice and what not, as I tried to balance the phone/camera in the other. And ignore the husband… he’s talking to himself)

 

School Update –

Yep, it happened sooner than later. Ethan no longer cries.

He fusses a little but is willing to go with his teachers without much of a show (thankfully). As soon as we arrived at school today, we went to the bathroom to get his diaper changed, his class had already taken off to the Sunshine room (remember, the real cool playroom), when we returned one of his favorite (I am assuming, because he doesn’t seem to give her much grief) aides was there waiting for him along with another classmate. She walked  up to him, grabbed his hand and told him they were going to the Sunshine room and started singing. Without even looking back at me or any whining whatsoever he walked off…. Just….. like….that….

He could have at least kissed me good bye or waved back at me. There was nothing more I wanted to do than to shout out his name, “ETHAN…. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!” and run to him, pick him up in my arms and swing him around like two long lost loves being reunited… instead I took a long deep silent breath and watched from behind! Although it makes me real happy to see that he has adapted to his new routine quite nicely, I hate the fact that it makes him appear so grown. In my heart, he is and always will be my baby boy.

But overall, aside from my own selfishness, everything is working out quite nicely.

And here is a video from last Thursday…. Real short.. just to show how well it is going. You would have never known that quiet little boy was screaming up a storm just two days prior to that. He loves his chair. Every morning he walks over to his chair and waits for an aide to come get him out of it and start their morning routine. I have been told it is his chair of comfort. Whenever it is time to transition to a new activity, Ethan takes comfort in his chair. Of course he does. He just has to have a gazillion comfort items.