Monday, May 24, 2010

Complete Fulfillment

After a week of doctors appointments, emotional roller coasters, dance banquets and illnesses! Finally the weekend came.

Nana, Steve, Giz and the twins made their way to our house Friday night, provide the kiddos with some play time.

Ava and Stephen are definitely brother and sister! It was awesome to see the sibling rivalry at only a year old. Survival of the fittest, eh.

They even attempted to take their cousin down, but Ethan was able to throw a few punches as well!

Ethan was exhausted by the end of the night and slept beautifully throughout the night.

Honestly, it is hard to see any (ok -many) major delays between Ethan and his cousins. They are a little over 3 months older than Ethan, but Ethan is just as involved and loud as they are. The only difference is that he cannot crawl or pull himself to a stand yet. He does pivot around to get to what he wants and rolls to his destination. The kid is very motivated and, I must say, pretty bright.

I was reading a post from a mother who asked other parents how they coped emotionally with their child’s delays. –deep breath. You know, we are entitled to feel however we want. Sadness, joy, disappointment. And that mother in not wrong in any way for how she might feel or has ever felt. Sometimes we cannot control our feelings. But at this very moment, I am not disappointed, I am not sad, I don’t dwell on my son being different or delayed. I just don’t.

I feel that I can function better by just accepting for what it is. There are delays to be expected. I just don’t have the time to allow myself to get to that mind frame. Again – other parents are not WRONG. I am not better than them in any way.

But for us, this is the way to go. This is what works for us, for me. Just accepting Ethan evey day, for who he is. And the more positive I am , the better I am able to function and provide more support for him. Sometimes I attribute Ethan’s “success” to our attitudes. We just don’t let anything get in our ways, we love that little bogger and we treat him just the same way we treat our other children (MAYBE just a few more hugs and kisses).

Prayer, prayer is good as well. From the beginning, I always asked God for strength and courage. When I was pregnant, I knew (or so I felt) that I could not ask him to NOT give me a son with DS. If this was He wanted for me, who was I to say that that is not what I wanted, to refuse His gift. Ultimately , it is in His hands. God has a plan for us all. All I could have asked for is for Him to provide me with the strength and the courage to accept it, and now it is the strength and courage to raise this child.

And everyday , I feel stronger and everyday I feel more able to to this.

And even when the delays become more apparent, I will turn to Him again. And I will be able to do it. I will do it!

There is nothing stopping me.

This little boy has brought me SO much happiness. And there is no giving up.

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